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Things To Do At The Office

Page yourself over the intercom (don't disguise your voice)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)

Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by those nicknames. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Chi.

Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example, "if anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. ?Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Put a chair facing the printer, sit there all day, and tell people you're waiting for your document.

Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. Eat an entire raw potato.

Insist that your email address be [email protected]

Every time someone asks you for something, ask them if they want fries with that.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of the company's products. Forward the email to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Put the garbage can on your desk. Label it "in."

Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your kids.
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