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Things To Do If Caught Sleeping on the Job

1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

2. "This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to."

3. "I was working smarter-not harder."

4. "Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper."

5. "Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

6. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

7. "I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance."

8. "I was trying to remember where that difficult "Z" Key was, and now it is indelibly imprinted on my brain, or at least my forehead."

9. "I'm in the management training program."

10. "I'm actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."

11. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

12. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?"

13. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

14. "Uh, hey, whaddaya expect... the coffee machine is broken..."

15. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."

16. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

17. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"

18. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

19. "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

20. "The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."

21. "Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."

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