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Funny things people said

I went to a McDonald's in New York. My girlfriend and I didn't know what we wanted ahead of time, but when we got there we saw a sign for a special: "2 Big Macs, 2 large fries, and 2 drinks for $7.99."

* Me: "Can I have the 2 Big Macs, 2 large fries special?"
* Clerk: "Excuse me?"
* Me: "Can I have the special on the sign up there?" (pointing to the sign)
* Clerk: "What special?"
* Me: "The 2 Big Macs special."
* Clerk: "That's not a special. You just order 2 Big Macs and 2 fries and 2 drinks."
* Me: "Will it cost $7.99?"
* Clerk: "I don't know. Let me see."

She rung up the order, and it came to around $12.

* Clerk: "That is how much it costs."
* Me: "Then why does the sign say $7.99?"
* Clerk: "I don't know what you are talking about."
* Me: "The sign up there." (pointing to the sign again)
* Clerk: "Let me get the manager."

The manager came over, and I was convinced I would be eating shortly.

* Manager: "Can I help you?"
* Me: "I just want to order the special that it see on the sign up there."
* Manager: "There is no special at this time."
* Me: "Then why does the sign say there is?"
* Manager: "I don't know about that, but you can order two value meals and get the same thing."
* Me: "But that will cost more than $7.99."
* Manager: "That's right."
* Me: "But what I want is what is on the sign up there." (pointing to the sign again)

The manager read the sign out loud, very slowly.

* Manager: "The sign is wrong."
* Me: "Well, if you are the manager, why don't you take it down?"
* Manager: (angrily) "Excuse me?"
* Me: "You are the manager, and you have signs in here that are wrong. You should take them down."
* Manager: "Sir, why don't you leave my store."
* Me: "What?"
* Manager: "Leave my store before something happens."
* Me: "What is going to happen?"
* Manager: "Just get out of here."

We left, walked about five blocks to the next McDonald's. I ordered the same special without a problem.

When I was in college, a couple of my friends and I went to a small town restaurant for a bite to eat one evening. I was in the mood for a ham and cheese omelette. Looking at the menu, there was a ham omelette listed and a cheese omelette listed, but no combination. So when the waitress came for the order, I asked about the combination.

* Me: "I'd like a ham AND cheese omelette, please."
* Her: "I...don't know. I'll have to ask the chef."
* Me: "Uh...ok."

She left and returned a minute later.

* Her: "The chef says he'll have to put eggs in it to hold it together!"
* Me: (blank stare) "...Well, if he HAS to put eggs in it, that'll be ok!"

I used to work at a Subway restaurant, and I found this happening quite often:

* Me: "How can I help you?"
* Customer: "I'd like a Club with everything."

So I start putting cheese on the bread.

* Customer: "No cheese."
* Me: "Ok."

So I start putting vegetables on the bread.

* Customer: "No lettuce or pickles."
* Me: "Ok."
* Customer: "No olives."
* Me: "Everything, right?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Me: "Everything?"
* Customer: "Everything."
* Me: "Ok."

Whenever I go to my local Subway, I find I constantly get either ingredients on my sub I didn't ask for, or a sub missing some ingredients I did ask for. I'm not that picky, so one day when I was in a rush I asked for a 6-inch meat-lovers with everything.

* Clerk: "Do you want lettuce?"
* Me: "Yeah, everything please."
* Clerk: "Cheese?"
* Me: "Yes, just put everything on it please."
* Clerk: "Pickles?"
* Me: "Yes, everything, the works, please."

This went on for every ingredient, getting more annoying with each step, until we reached the salt and pepper.

* Clerk: "Salt?"
* Me: (wanting to get going) "No, that's ok."

Salt goes on anyway.

* Clerk: "Pepper?"
* Me: "Yeah."

No pepper.

Finally the sub's rung up, and I rush out of the store. Half an hour later, start eating the sub and notice there's no meat on my meat-lover sub.

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