A man seeing flashing blue lights in his rear view mirror.
The man says: What's the problem officer?
Officer: You were doing 50 miles an hour in a 40 mile an hour zone.
Man: No Officer, I was doing 40.
Wife: Oh, Harry. You were doing 60. [Man gives wife a dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken rear light.
Man: Broken rear light? I didn't know about a broken rear light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that rear light for weeks. [Man gives his wife a dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a caution for not wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!
Man turns to his wife and yells: "Shut your damn mouth bitch!"
Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am does your husband talk to you this way all the time?" Wife says
"No, only when he's drunk"