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Bar Jokes

Need some pub ammo to tell your friends, get it all here.

1.5

Driving Home Drunk

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently...
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3.454545

Three challenges

A guy walks into a bar, and sits at the bar. After ordering a drink, he notices a giant jar full of $5 bills sitting behind the bar....
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3.857145

How to get free beer

Fred and Ray went to the liquor store to buy a cheap bottle of wine. In the store, they discover they only have $1.50 between the two...
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2.25

How to sing the blues

Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning." "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick...
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2.5

The 85 Rules of Drinking

If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour. Always toast before doing a shot. Whoever...
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3.72857

An Irish Priest

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.The state trooper smells alcohol on the...
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3.933335

Drunk Ass...

A man went into a bar and ordered several shots of vodka. By the time the bar was closing, he was wasted. He got up to leave and fell...
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4.285715

Female Comebacks

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.Man: Is this seat empty?Woman: Yes, and...
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2

Duck Walks Into A Bar...

A duck walks into a bar and up to the bartender. Looking the fellow square in the eye, he asks, "Hey, uh, you got any fish here?""No...
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2.2

Gambling type

A bartender was tending to his bar when a guy in tattered clothes swaggers into the bar and orders a beer. The bartender takes one...
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3.42857

Gotta Love The Irish..

An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have...
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3.333335

Bar Joke

So three guys are at a bar, on top of a cliff. The first guy says to the second guy " Jees I swear one more beer in me and I reckon I...
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2.2

Monkey Beer

Man walks into a bar and orders a beer, the barman serves it up with a smile. Before he can even take one sup from the pint but a...
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2.166665

The Bartender...

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a glass of beer, and the bartender says, "That'll be four cents, please."The guy nearly spits out...
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1.745455

My girlfriend is out in the car

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender,...
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2.19

I think I'll try a nicer approach

Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around...
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1.59

How drunk are you? Official drinking test

This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below...
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3.375

Drink fault-finding guide

A solution to all of your drinking troubles Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet. Fault:...
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1.333335

Who gave you those black eyes?

A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful. "Whoa...
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2.333335

A brain goes to a local bar

A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please." The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't...
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