April Fools |
New secretary (second day on the job) answers telephone and is told in official tones, "This is the phone company. We are testing a new circuit wiring scheme in your offices. Please keep everyone off the phones for the next 10 minutes. We will be verifying the correct wiring of your system by passing hot steam through the wires.
Instruct your employees to place their phones on the floor, or, better yet, wrap them in towels to avoid scalding themselves. We will advise you when the tests are complete." After momentary panic, the secretary begins a frenzied "Paul Revere" routine, running from desk to desk while glancing frequently at her watch. Just as the 10 minutes are about up, she bursts into her boss's office (while he is in the midst of an important long-distance call) and, screaming, grabs the receiver from his hand and flings the whole phone under his desk.
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Another good prank involves the lunch room where opaque plastic salt and pepper shakers with pop-off tops are used. They should be the ones with lids that could be pried off with a knife blade if you were persistent enough.
PREPARATION (in a restroom nearby):
Empty salt ( or pepper) from a previously 'acquired' container and fill about 1/3 full with concentrated lemon juice.
Place a thin tissue across the opening, poke it down a bit to form a depression, and fill the depression with about a teaspoon of baking soda.
Cover (from the inside) the holes of the top with tape of the appropriate color.
Replace top on container and trim visible tissue from around the top.
Carry the device to dining hall (upright and as stable as is possible... for your own sake).
After discretely placing the shaker on your table (or near you), observe the next person to use the shaker. (S)He will shake lightly at first, then harder as nothing comes out. Due to the breakdown of the tissue and the pressure resulting from the classic acid/base reaction, the top will pop off (quite spectacularly) amidst a shower of foam. Your victim (as will as everyone around) should have quite a reaction, since one does not usually observe this type of behavior in a salt (pepper) shaker!
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There was a 'witchy' old lady next door that was constantly complaining about everything and everyone in the neighborhood. After one really good round about kids and pets messing up her spotless front yard, the neighbors planned what turned out to be a better joke than they originally thought. Juvenile as they all were, they planned to write some dirty words in her meticulously-groomed front lawn with some kind of powder that would stand out. The only thing they could find was some Ortho Super-Gro Lawn Food (white powdery stuff). They wrote the message in the dead of night, and next morning it was bold and white for the world to see. The kicker came after. She came out, saw the graffiti, and immediately grabbed a hose and watered it off, thus activating the lawn fertilizer. Her lawn had those words there for 2 years!
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This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of a bragger. His favorite topic was his car, and one sub-topic was the terrific gas mileage (pre-metric) it got.
So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas each night and pour it into the victim's gas tank. Wait for the story each day to get better and better. Repeat until it cannot be taken any more. I believe 2 weeks was sufficient.
Finally the moment (days) of truth. Each night for 2 weeks, the effect was reversed, and one gallon of gas was removed from the victim's tank. It was amazingly effective at reducing some of the stories. I suspect the truth was never revealed to the victim.
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Practical Joke: buy one of those cards that have the small electronic device that plays a tune....place it somewhere very hard to find in a colleague's office when she's out (behind a picture, in the bottom of the tissue box....it will drive her crazy trying to find...
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Does the person that you want to get even with drink red wine? If so, have I got one for you! Get yourself some Neutral Red, a water soluble, crystalline red dye. Mix some into the persons wine and wait for them to take a leak. (Nuetral Red comes out as red as it goes in, and people have a tendancy to get really nervous when they start peeing what they think is blood!
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Reprogram the speed-dials in the office of a co-worker to all call "Dial-a-prayer."
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If someone goes out of town for the weekend get access to their room.
Lay down plastic wrap all over the room. Around furnature, under the bed everywhere. It is easiest if you remove all furniture then lay down the plastic. Fill the entire room with sod. Now they have wonderful green growing carpet. :) Replace all their furniture, exactly how it is supposed to be. Have farm animals moved into their room right before they get home. Sheep, goats, anything that grazes and is small enought o fit in the room will work. Lock up and leave. Preferrable the country.
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The next time you are having a party, do this prior to the arrival of your guests:
Take a camcorder and place it on a tripod extended as high as possible (and on top of a table or box if necessary) so that it is near ceiling height. Place this in the bathroom (or just outside the door if the bathroom is too small to afford a wide shot. This shot must include the sink area and the toilet.
Select your accomplice and tape her walking into the bathroom, looking into the mirror, fixing her make-up and hair and walking back out. Remove the camera and make this tape available for playback in your VCR.
Sometime during the party, select your victim (preferably female - you'll get better reactions). Wait patiently until they go to the bathroom and when they do, gather EVERYBODY around the television and quickly explain the joke. Have your accomplice (the one you taped earlier) standing by.
When the victim emerges from the bathroom, have your accomplice pass her and enter the bathroom. Roll the tape of your accomplice fixing her make-up and have everybody watching, really interested in what she's going to do.
Observe with delight as the victim succombs to the belief that there's a video camera in the bathroom... where SHE just was!
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For those on Windows 3.1x .....Use Alt + Print Screen at the Program Manager screen to get a screen image into the clipboard. Paste it into the Paintbrush and save it as a .bmp file. Get into the office early on April 1st, load it onto some machines and use it as Wallpaper. Then minimise the Program Manager. Although the Program Manager will still be visible as an icon people will probably be clicking at their wallpaper icons for some time before they notice it.
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One of the best practical jokes I heard of recently was the wife who taped the lottery draw one week. Then, during the next week bought a ticket with the previous week's winning numbers on for her Lottery Mad husband.
The next Saturday evening they sat down to watch the draw but just before it started she had arranged a short phone call for him during which she switched on the video with the previous week's show on it. He then returned to see his "winning" numbers drawn out. Of course, he was delirious.
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Take a bucket of water, two gallons or more, and dump it underneath the front of a friend's car (you do this without their knowledge, of course). Then go in and ask how long they've had that terrible radiator leak! Works like a charm!
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Take a small strip of cloth and make a short cut in one edge so that it's easy to tear.
Find a public place to play the prank and set down a dollar bill where the victim will find it. When he bends down to get it quickly tear the cloth thus inducing the hole in the pants panic dance.
Stand back and watch the fun begin!
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Ok here's what you do. You get the biggest menial envelope you can find fill it three fourths of the way full with shaving cream. Then get all the shaving cream down to the bottom of the envelope go to someone's room (who you don't like) and slide the open end under the door so that it is just inside the room. Then stand up and stomp on the end with all the shaving cream in it ,this will send the shaving cream flying throughout the other persons room. Pick up your envelope (so they don't know how you did it, but if you leave your envelope this is why you don't use one with your name on it) and RUN. This joke is best done at night so no one will see you and the people will wonder how all this shaving cream got all over the place when their door was locked.
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Ok, you know those sprayers that are connected to sinks. Well the night before (when everyone in your house has gone to sleep) take a rubber band and wrap it around the handle so that the lever you press to spray the water will stay down (you might have to do a little bit of aiming). Now the next person that turns on the faucet is going to get a wet surprise.
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If target owns older model car, use bailing wire (or coat hanger) to tie small fish (Carp, Catfish, etc.) onto the engine manifold.
In a couple of days time, the target will start to investigate strange smells. This is especially good if target is about to leave town on holidays or business trip.
Other substances can be substituted (ie. Beef Liver, Eggs, etc. - anything that stinks when half cooked and going bad). DO NOT USE ANYTHING TOXIC - PLASTIC, ETC!
Later model cars need hood/bonnet to be released from inside vehicle, so will only work if target leaves vehicle unlocked (not likely these days).
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Call someone up and say you are the utility man on the roof dealing with the "High Voltage Phone Fiber Optics" on the roof, and that because of the work you are doing, the phone will ring a lot. Tell them, no matter what, to NOT PICK UP THE PHONE OR ANSWER IT for ANY reason, or you might be electrocuted. Hang up, wait a minute and call again. Let the phone ring and ring until it is picked up. Give a blood curdling scream.
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Hook up the modular phone cord to something silly, like a lamp, or a potted plant. A lot of people work in offices who have no idea how phones work, and will more than likely call in a repair guy... who will trace the line to the plant and make your schmuck look like a... well... schmuck.
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