http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/ Jokes from Owens World en-uk http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-659.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-659.htm A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping!" ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-658.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-658.htm Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?" Girl: "Because he touched my hand." Priest: "Like this?" ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-657.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-657.htm Three women are having trouble talking about their husbands because the men all have the same 1st name. They decide to give them all nicknames in order to tell them apart during conversations. They all decide to name their husbands after differen ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-656.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-656.htm 10. The Exxon Valdez Bumper Boats. 9. Commode Log Flume Ride. 8. Hugh Grant's Wheels O' Fun. 7. The Marion-Barry-Go-Round. 6. Bill Clinton's Whitewater Rafting Challenge. 5. The Incontinence Ferris Wheel. 4. Michael Jack ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-655.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-655.htm A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reass ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-654.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-654.htm One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work. Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, "Are you really going to let him ge ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-653.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-653.htm Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?Wellhung: I'm 6'3 ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-652.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-652.htm One night a man, his wife and a friend decided to have dinner together, so after eating they opened a couple of bottles of wine. Upon finishing the wine the friend realised it was late and he should go home, but the man insisted he stay the night ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-651.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-651.htm A man in Germany felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a Jew in my attic.""Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'"But I made him agree to pay ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-650.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-650.htm Two hunters are out in the wild hunting, when out of nowhere, one of the hunters falls to the ground. The other hunter checks if he's breathing, but there's no sign of life, so he calls 911: "Please! Help me! I think my friend is dead!"th ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-649.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-649.htm 1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I can't remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-648.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-648.htm English has to be one of the hardest languages to understand. Read the paragraph below and try to understand the meaning. Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-647.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-647.htm Dan had a new job; on his first day his manager gave him some pearls of wisdom to help him with his customer service.Dan when you sell an item strike up some conversation as to what they might be using the product for then suggest some accessorie ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-646.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-646.htm A Pathan comes up to the indian border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Ranjit Singh stops him and says, What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Pathan. Ranjit says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the b ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-645.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-645.htm A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her Grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl.The prostitutes were instructed to line ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-644.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-644.htm A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-643.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-643.htm This Scottish farmer walks into the neighborhood pub, and orders a whiskey."Ye see that fence over there?" he says to the bartender. "Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-642.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-642.htm Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE..... you know ... Young, Urban, Professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK..... you know ... Double Income, No Kid ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-641.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-641.htm An elderly man finds he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things; but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-640.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-640.htm A blonde crashes into a wall when a cop gets there she's putting on her lipstick he says, "what happend?" the blonde says, "i was driving along when a tree jumped out in front of me, i swerved to miss it, and another tree jumped out in front of ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-639.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-639.htm PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN: It Still Does Nothing APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI: System Can't See It DOS: Defective Operating System BASIC: Bill's Attempt to ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-638.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-638.htm A married couple are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the wife gets out, picks it up and brings it into the car. She says, "Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?" Her hus ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-637.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-637.htm 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us...2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down...3 . Don't cut your hair. Ever...4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can fi ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-636.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-636.htm Adam was returning home late one night in paradise after drinking with the dodo and the unicorn. Eve got angry and yelled at him: "YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN!" Adam responded: "Don't be silly, you are the only woman on earth" and went to sle ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-635.htm http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/read-635.htm An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.""Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. ... http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/ http://www.owensworld.com/jokes/ All Jokes