Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him. He enquired of God: "Where have you been?".

God breathed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds: "Look son", he said "Look what I'm after making"

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and asked: "What is it?"

God replied: "It's another planet, but I'm after putting Life on it.I've called it Earth and there will be a balance between everything on it.

For example, there's a North America and a South America. North America will be rich and South America will be poor.

Now look over here - I've put a continent of white people in the north and a continent of black people in the south."

Then the Archangel asked: "Whats that green dot over there?"

"Ahhh, thats the Emerald Isle", God answered. "Thats a very special place.

"That's going to be the most glorious spot on Earth - beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, and an exquisite coastline. The people will be great craic and will travel all over the world. They'll be playwrights and poets, singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give them this black liquid, which they'll go mad on, and people will come from the far corners of Earth to drink it."

Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration, then stopped, wondering, and said: "Hold on just a minute. What about 'Balance'? You said there was going to be 'Balance'..."

God nodded wisely, and replied: " Wait till you see the Tossers I'mputting next door!!"