Knock, Knock
Who?s there?
I know it's you.
Crap.

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
A talking pig.
Pigs can?t talk.
Neither can penguins, but I can?t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra?

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
You want to buy a kitten?
You want to buy a kitten who?
Make pretty pet.
I?m allergic to cats.
Taste good, too?

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
You sure you don?t want buy a little kitten?
Yes, I?m sure.
Could make one cute fuzzy glove?

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Ted Bundy
Ted Bundy who?
Let me in, meat!
No!
I mean? Hello I am Santa Claus.
Yay! Santa!

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile.
Saddam, I think it?s for you!

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves!
Dork-ass loser.
Don?t hit me! Don?t hit me!

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
My mouth is full of spiders.
My mouth is full of spiders who?
I didn?t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting?
Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup.

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Hitler
Hitler who?
Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? ?HEIL ME!? Ring a bell?
I thought you were someone else.
How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER!
Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler.
You?re just trying to annoy me now.
Do you really have just one testicle?
You?d think I miss it, but I don?t

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
What, and that makes you special?

Knock, knock
Who?s there?
Some.
Some who?
Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes. .