20 funny kid jokes in Children jokes

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Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

A. He wanted cold hard cash!

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

A. "Is that you mommy?"

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A. Frostbite.

Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?

A. They take the psycho path.

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?

A. Cell phones.

Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?

A. Spoiled milk.

Q. Where do polar bears vote?

A. The North Poll

Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?

A. ME!!!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?

A. In snow banks.

Q. What's brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?

A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?

A. A watch dog.

Q. Why did the tomato turn red?

A. It saw the salad dressing!

Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

A. It let out a little wine!

Q. How do you make a tissue dance?

A. Put a little boogey in it!

Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?

A. At the BP station!

Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

A. Odor in the court.

Q. What did the water say to the boat?

A. Nothing, it just waved.

Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

A. Dam!

Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?

A. They don't have the guts.



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comments (131)

Jennifer N
Jennifer N said 3 months ago (#29080)

Love this one!
Two Best friends are talking
Anthony(Friend #1): In an 1000 Years will you forget me?
Richard(Friend #2): No
(An 1000 years later..)
Anthony: Knock Knock
Richard:Who's There?
Anthony:YOU FORGOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kasandra young
kasandra young said 9 months ago (#25996)


Aidan said 10 months ago (#25833)

Dam... That 'dam' joke was dam good!!! LOL

jaylene said 10 months ago (#25832)

it makes me lighe my pants off

Erica said 10 months ago (#25823)

What did the cake say to the fork

You wanna piece of me

Erica said 10 months ago (#25822)

Q: what did the cake say to the

bre said 11 months ago (#25821)

i read the first comment and i looked these jokes up cuz this is for my tusc and we are not allowed to do yo mama jokes yes i agree with you the yo mama jokes are funny but these are funny for kids and when i hear a yo mama joke it makes me think of my mom and then i fee bad.

lexie said 11 months ago (#25814)

Look at up yo mama jokes their better than these jokes these are lame

Donal Byrnes
Donal Byrnes said 11 months ago (#25797)

i love the jokes and my sister thought they were hilarious there really funny i know another one where do fish keep their money in a river bank and what did the skeleton say when his feet was sore awww my feet are killing me

tyler h
tyler h said 1 year ago (#25766)

nice jokes guy

Dad said 1 year ago (#25756)

Knock knock! WHo's there? I got up. I got up who? Well then go to the bathroom!!!!

Hayli reese
Hayli reese said 1 year ago (#25728)

Some of them are dumd.

TheGTAIVGod said 1 year ago (#25723)

Okay, hilarious joke arrival:
Several third-graders were randomly selected by Mrs. Jones, the 5th grade teacher, to test gummy Lifesavers candy. The kids identified the tastes of lemon, cherry, and mint, but when they tasted honey, they were stumped.
So Mrs. Jones hinted, "It's probably something your mommy and daddy all each other all the time."
Little Johnny instantly coughed his up and yelled, "Spit them out! SPIT THEM OUT! THEY'RE ASSHOLES!!"
i guarantee this joke will make you piss your pants laughing.

brittney said 1 year ago (#25628)

i got a really good joke ready

Q: Why cant u trust atoms?

A: Because they make up everything.

knock knock
who s there
woo hoo
i know its exciting rite.

Caleb said 1 year ago (#25619)

Shut up manners and poo were riding on a truck when poo flew out of the window manners went to go pick him up... He took a reaaly long time so shut up decided to speed around town for 30 minutes... The cops cought him and pulled him over... A police-man yelled at shut up to roll down his window... so he did the cop asks him "whats your name?" Shut up answered "shut up" so the cop repeats his question "whats your name?!" And shut up answers "shut up!" So the cop says "wheres your manners?"
Shut up answers "out on the side of the road picking up poo"

mb124 said 1 year ago (#25615)

Q: What is a person who runs track and field's favorite dance?
A:the running man

Brianna said 1 year ago (#25602)

Ok will you Remember me yes I will knock knock whose there I thought you will remember me
I'm sad

Brianna said 1 year ago (#25601)

Mary:knock knock Jim: whose there Mary:boo Jim:boo who Mary:you don't have to cry about it

Brianna said 1 year ago (#25600)

Why did the man put his money in the freezer
Because he wanted cold card cash

Saracita said 2 years ago (#25595)

What do you call a duck who's a doctor?

A quack!

Eakahl13 said 2 years ago (#25553)

3 men escape from prison. They find 3 trees and decide to climb up and hide in them. The police catch up and they shake the 1st tree. The man says,"mee ow" The police say,"argh it's only a cat." So they go to the next tree and shake it. The man says,"tweet tweet" The police say,"argh it's only a bird." So they go to the last tree and they shake it. The man says"MOOOOOO"

Eakahl13 said 2 years ago (#25552)

Funniest joke on earth!! A man walks into the doctors with 2 burnt ears. The doctor says, "so how did you burn your ears?" The man says,"I was ironing my clothes and the phone rang, so I accidentally picked up the iron and put it on my ear." Doctor says," Ok. So how did you burn the other one?" The man says, "The bloody bastard rang back!" HAHAHA plenty more to come

Neha Chattrejee
Neha Chattrejee said 2 years ago (#25543)

they are riddles not jokes please submit some jokes please!!!!!!!!!

Tori said 2 years ago (#25542)

Heyah PPL WAZ UP?!?!?

kenzie said 2 years ago (#25523)

Q.how do you make holy water?

A.you burn all the hell out of it!

Jade England
Jade England said 2 years ago (#25516)

What type of witch to you find on the beach?
A sandwitch!!!

A. Knock. Knock.
B.Who'se there?
A. Doctor
B.Doctor who?
A. You just said my name!!

Miodrag Lazic
Miodrag Lazic said 2 years ago (#25513)

Good and funny !!!

Miss fun
Miss fun said 2 years ago (#25470)

Lol that's was funny ima swagger

kita said 2 years ago (#25406)


Kiaron said 2 years ago (#25395)

Heres one of my best jokes

What did the old chimley say to the young chimley ?

Your to young to smoke

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